it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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