i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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