Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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