Whod you bang
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
