do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
