the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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