Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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