I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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