Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i love accidental penises.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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