your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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