This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
