We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
