Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
