Yo dont text me then not text me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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