i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
im on a boat
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