You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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