I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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