lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
