did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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