Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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