wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
