I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize