We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
