I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
