Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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