Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
