It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
