I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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