I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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