I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
