if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So vagazzling was a success
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
