Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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