I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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