i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
