You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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