If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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