Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
