it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
