After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize