No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize