Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
