my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Buhtt sex?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
