Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
