I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
