you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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