Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
