i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
