you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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