Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize