Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
look no pants
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
