yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
