i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
