Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
