i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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