help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
